Friday, May 31, 2013

I write for silver Ink stars

I write.
I write to bleed off the poison
of mania and sorrow
that creeps into my thoughts
and soul.
I write to cast off the shame
of who I am.
full of light and shadow.
I write to show what holds my heart
because tomorrow it will change
twist and sway
and I want to have a record
to look back at
hold on to.

I write to find myself
and lose myself again
in a new world
an older world
of ink blotches and stained fingers
where things are different.
I write to put myself in the shoes
of another girl
with other problems and-
I write to understand
that what I know of worlds
is limited
but through silver ink and straining-

I write to tell myself a story
that my spirit knows
but my mind does not.
To put into words the yearnings, pleadings, 
all the thoughts I have
running pure wild
though empty space.
I write to sing myself a song
that soothes me into slumber
or else wakes me from fever’s hold
and sends my heart racing- 
to, away, even I can’t tell.
I write to take my breath away
and pull it back into my body
catch my thoughts tumbling 
from tongue and teeth.

I write for the solitude
of pencil scratching on paper
ink bleeding across my forearm
keys click, click, clicking.
I write for the conversation between 
two halves of the same mind.
I write-
I write and write and write-
to hold myself in my hands
like a globe of suspended

Thursday, May 30, 2013


Halo of white fire
around a darkness
the heart of stones
rim of light around the moon
and caught in an ocean
of cloud and sky
blue tinged space
and the gold blushed
face of the world

Sunday, May 26, 2013

Drip Dance

For Magpie 170

Ink, black and vivid
drips into the glass
one liquid into another
and then- dance
tendrils of not smoke
but pigment
wisps of ink
swirl and sway
blossom like blood on cloth
like light on water
the ink expands
trails, dancing,
 sinking and floating all at once-
the droplet twists
extending slowly
a pattern of shadow on light
suspended but not still
never still

Monday, May 20, 2013

Two Halves

Two Halves:

And I saw a darkness
beyond my own open eyes
black and looming
too dim.
And with it silence,
emptiness like open space
draining me.
Crushing me.
Too much darkness
too much dimness.
I cannot move
so I sit and wait
and die alone
let it take from me
my sanity.

And I saw a light
within my own closed eyes
white and gleaming
too bright.
And with it music,
thoughts like rapid water
drowning me.
Flooding me.
Too much light
too much bright.
I cannot stop
so I dive and run
and fly alone
let it take me from
my sanity.

Sunday, May 19, 2013


For Magpie 169

the wind plucks at petals
sways the grass
and dandelion seeds
green and gold and light as air.
The world is summer sunlight
but fading,
like alpine glow
not tinged red or fire
just gold.

The house gleams
so tall above the golden green grasses
just a house to some,
but to me,
a sun bright haven
soft and warm as a mother's heart
reaching so far above my hopes
a butter gold
a sparking gold
a lantern's flicker waver gold
but steadier
as sweet as honey-gold
for it is golden- oh how bright!
It is my home

Monday, May 6, 2013


Write this a few weeks ago. Forgot to post it.

I am full of
I want to
go for a run around campus
make turkey gravy and truffles
listen to the same song over and over and over
and sing along
but it’s two am
and I have class at 8.
I cannot leave my bed 
without waking roommates
cannot leave the apartment
without trouble.
So I sit and write
a short story about a dragon and a mage
a poem
then another
words spilling out of me like air
from swimmer’s lungs.
I want to swim
take a cold shower
sit in a bubble bath.
I am trembling with longing to do, do, do
Fingers twitch.
I cannot turn on the light,
and the screen is too dim 
to knit by
but I want to create something
tangle my fingers in yarn,
or prick them with embroidery needles.
No light.
I write, sweating from a racing heart
but no reason why
except the mania
that has overtaken me despite the meds
and holds me tight, won’t let go.
I am full of everything
bursting at the skin
straining at my seams.