Friday, July 12, 2013

Mental Illness Protip

Mental Illness Protip
When I say I have bipolar
by all means, ask which kind.
Thank you for actually thinking and not
just dismissing me.
but protip:
When I answer “Type two"
do not say “Ok, that’s ok then."
because I’ll think-
what does that mean?
Ok because I’m not crazy?
Not full brown manic?
just type two?
Or ok because
it’s ‘easier’ to live with
as if the stigma’s not the same
the shame’s not the same
the inability to control 
my heart
is not the same?
It’s ok because I’m not suffering
not compared to
It’s ok because
"it’s not so bad"
not so bad that I rapid cycle
don’t know what dawn brings
not so bad.
It’s ok.
Protip: If that’s what you have to say
about the thing
that rules me
chains me down
sends me through
deep water
dark fire
that leaves me out of breath
that throws me from cliffs
into a phoenix flight
I’d rather
you not say anything at all.

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Phoenix Flight

Phoenix Flight
The phoenix flight is
a dance with no end
ash to flame
flame to ash
so goes my heart.

I am trapped within 
a cyclone of feathers
made of match heads
then drowning on ashes
clogging my throat
I cannot help the dance
the flight.

But the ashes don’t last.
Just as from the minute
I take wing I know
I will fall,
when I am a broken bird
my fire doused
I know
I will burst into flame
and into the sky.

Flame nor ash will last
but my phoenix song
my phoenix flight
it will.

I am darker than a moonless night
grey-black and falling
and then reborn
brighter than the sun.