Dark Fire and Depression

Depression

Numbness spreads

and leaves me like a void of space.

Black behind my eyes

down my legs.

The world is icy wool

Static-y and cold

and I’m a thin veil of skin

disconnected from the darkness

outside of me.

Disconnected from the blackness

inside of me.

Floating through a half life

in half light-

murk.

It is beyond tears

and sorrow.

I am fallen past that line

empty and numb.

I am space,

cold and void

and the stars,

so tiny in comparison,

are the only feeling I have left to me

pain.

Dark Fire

Even as my body shuts down

so long without sleep,

my thoughts are racing,

clinging to each other,

fingers twitching

ink and paint spattered.

I can’t keep my eyes open,

embraced by overheated sheets,

but I must.

Creativity flares in my mind

burning bright as eyesight dims.

I’m falling through dark fire,

a half sleep punctuated

by jolts awake and pacing

wash my face,

write a poem,

fret away minutes, minutes,

until I pass out again.

The flame guttering in my head

then rising stronger than ever-

Mania.