Woman Who Waged War on a Child.

I walked in the room and saw her
Mom, how could you not have told me
she was coming?
With which white hair and dark eyes
Those eyes full of scorn
And that smile,
the Woman who waged war on a child
is here
Mom, how could you not have told me?
Our eyes lock and I flinch because it's been seven years and I still have yet to heal
My scars are still raw with my
recent diagnosis
Bipolar.
Even with the happy pills last June clings in my memory
When the Dark over took me
Just like that fall, October
Oh God, let it be over, I prayed at night
but it wasn't, thanks to the angel-faced
daughter of
the Woman who waged war on a child
they both did so gladly.
And to hear their names- her name
and to see their faces- her face
and hear their voices- her voice
Brings blood to the surface of my scars
tears to over bright eyes
Acid churning in my stomach
Mom, how could you not have warned me?
Because she's here
where I thought I was safe
and she looks at me, cold glares, searching eyes, dark eyes
I cannot stay here, I have to
Run,
Fly into the night but I can't
I'm trapped like before
and before is coming, my past haunts my future
Fragil trust once betrayed is weakened forever
no easy thing to mend a heart
broken by
the Woman who waged war on a child
and did so gladly.
A war of lies and words
12 year old's reputation ruined
for petty whims and cast aside friendships.
The Darkness came then
and it comes now
and I just want to go home
and get as far from here and her as I can
Mom you knew she was here,
How could you not have warned me?
I'm alone as alone as that October
Now huddled under a desk in a dark room
remembering and knowing
that I can't face anyone.
Because they'll say,
'forgive and forget'
'It was seven years ago'
'let it go'
'move on'
'she's changed'
because it's not a matter of forgiveness
I'd forgive
if I could stop remembering
the pain
losing everything
that she waged war on a child
and did so gladly
malicious joy in destroying me.
"move on" they say
but they don't understand how close I came
to ending it all
because of the Woman who waged war on a child
and with her jackel daughter did so gladly
tearing with claws and teeth to rip me to shreds
of myself, limp and tattered.
The minute our eyes lock
I am back in her living room as her family
wages war on me
and I am tattered and torn
and worn through.
I can't do this
I cannot face
The Woman who waged war on a child
Mom, how could you not have told me,
So I could have stayed safe and hidden and as
whole as a band of sewn together streamers can be?
in this lower case darkness I tremble
because a look at her reminds me, pulls me back into that upper case Dark.
And I can't escape
will never be free of
The Woman who waged war on a child.